"At the end of a bad relationship day.. Remember marriage is not a contest - never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team."
Advice from the oldest living couple.
"At the end of a bad relationship day.. Remember marriage is not a contest - never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team."
Advice from the oldest living couple.
The capacity of my heart will always supersede the capacity of my income, but I am getting sick and tired of giving to people who are ungrateful. Don’t think that just because of my high income that I do not have internal wars about paying my bills vs. making your day or buying you lunch or something. I’m not complaining, but if you all were more thankful and grateful, I would give even more, but since some people aren’t, plan on me reorganize my Christmas gift roster.
& For those of you who ARE grateful, I wanna say thank you for your thank you’s because I appreciate your appreciation.
Anonymous asked: Okay so i'm really into this guy and i'd do anything for him and I always am texting him first, and no reply. I don't think it should be that way, feelings are not mutual. ): I don't know what to do, I tell myself I don't need him and move on to someone who will treat me right but it's like I want him and no one else, i'm like always coming off strong but really I WANT someone to be there and I feel the need of at least some type of affection from someone. Advice please! /: -HopelessRomantic
Please re-read the question in which you have just sent me in the above paragraph.
Really, please take the time to read it.
okay, what I got from it is that
1. You’re always texting him first
Stop. The strongest women never feel dead when the line goes dead. Don’t chase him. All dogs must chase the cat. You have a pussy, that means you run the universe.
2. He never replies to you
I think for the sake of embarrassing yourself, you need to stop texting him. He is waiting for you to get the hint. I get so many incoming text messages from boys who constantly wait for my answer or reply after months and months of not answering but somehow updating my Facebook status from my phone. I wish they would get the picture, but all they do is grow increasingly more annoying with each text. so STOP.
3. You don’t think it should be that way
Then what way do you think it should be? You think that he is supposed to stop his life in whatever way it is going to love and cherish you and kiss you every night before bed? NO. He does not answer to you as much as he does not answer your texts. The way it SHOULD be is that you need to realize that it is not mutual because 1. You like him, and 2. He does not like you. If he wants to, he will.
4. Feelings are not mutual
Are you listening to yourself? What is the discussion anymore?
5. You tell yourself you don’t need him (which you don’t)
You do not need a man, nor will you ever in your life. Women are the ones who give birth, give life. Everyone needs us. I have a loving relationship with my boyfriend Austin and I don’t even need him. I need him in the sense that I have grown to be intimately dependent on the love he gives me, but I have my own bills to worry about, my own stomach to fill, my own roof over my head to pay for, the fuck I need someone else for? I am enough.
6. You want HIM and no one else, (supposedly) but then you begin talking about how you want SOMEONE, and you need at least some type of affection from SOMEONE.
Fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.
Anonymous asked: What if I don't feel good about myself? What if I'm the best friend of the "hot friend"? I try to not let it get to me but it does a lot. I just feel invisible. I know this means I'm insanely insecure... but what should I do?
I do truly appreciate you coming to me with advice for this because I can offer you total empathy and zero bias or judgment.
I know what it is like to be the uglier best friend. I had beautiful best friends; Lauren Ervin, Iris Yang, Marites Canan, or Suzy Ree. I know what it’s like to be the ugliest in a group of beautiful girls. I had beautiful cliques; Royalty or Kitty $quad. I know what it is like to feel invisible and insanely insecure, suicidally insecure if you will.
I felt so ugly and ashamed and inadequate and not good enough, every day, no matter how many people told me how beautiful I was. I had been through situations where people have told me indirectly that I wasn’t as good looking as the girls I came to the venue with. It hurts. But what I found out is that I love pain and sorrow and heartbreak because I love the victory that comes with overcoming it.
You cannot overcome your insecurities by focusing on what you can do to appease your incompetence in comparing yourself to whoever society is telling you to be. Society has got you by the balls! Who would we say was beautiful if society didn’t tell us who was beautiful? Fuck what society thinks! Do NOT live for anyone else’s approval. Overcome your issues of insecurity by doing beautiful things for others, NOT for yourself. Indulge in great writing, people watching (not judging), good books, listening to other peoples’ problems, meditating, focusing on what is really important in life such as your beautiful mother should you be blessed to have her in your life, improving your vocabulary, practicing makeup, visiting the humane society, helping everyone you come in contact with, writing a fictional story, or tithing at church. Beauty doesn’t come from what we look like, come on, I know so many women who are GORGEOUS beyond belief, but dumber than a thumb tack and easy like Sunday morning with the most horrible personalities and cynical motives. Don’t focus on what you can do to please the world’s wandering eyes, focus on what you can do for your loved ones, your community and never stop giving. I assure you that a “Thank you so much” will make you feel more beautiful than an actual “You’re beautiful.”
Keep on giving even when you have nothing left to give. One day, someone will walk into your life and thank you for all of the things that you have done for everyone that nobody even notices and show you how beautiful you are to them and that the world has yet to open their eyes to the positivity that you are sowing deep in the seeds of this generation. There is such thing as good karma.
I recently began feeling beautiful after 20 years of living. I have a great paying job, zero drama, my own apartment, manageable bills, and a beautiful puppy and boyfriend. It’s mostly because of Austin. He showed me that I could grow out of the pain because I have been giving my whole life and it would soon be my time to get back. I am not embedding the idea that you need to find your beauty through another human being, ESPECIALLY another guy, but if you surround yourself by beautiful people, the only logical explanation of Darwinism is that you too become beautiful. Same goes about the weak. Weak people make you weak.
HOWEVER, if you constantly compare yourself to other people, you will forever get an inaccurate view of yourself. The person you are constantly comparing yourself to does not exist. YOU DO and you are beautiful.
Just because you’ve been through shit, don’t mean you’re grown. Everyone has hardships. You’ve grown when you’ve stopped being bitter about your past and started being better from it. When you presently plan on manifesting everything you’ve learned from your past for your future, THAT’S maturity.
Anonymous asked: not sure if you're the right person to ask this kinda question, but, what the hell. if you had a hero complex and were the type that always puts others before yourself, how would you be able to live a happy life while doing so?
I do put others before myself. I put my own benefits last. I let everyone walk all over me. I let everyone feel comfortable even if that means I feel internally awkward. I buy bums lunch as compassionately as I buy The Grands lunch. I invite others to my apartment as a safe haven. I let people use, abuse, bruise, and confuse me. I let people take total advantage of me. Etc. Etc. Etc. But in love, all of that is reasonable.
Digest that for a minute.
It’s sad that putting others before ourselves is perceived as a “hero complex”. Being giving is such an alienated and untraditional task nowadays. “How would you be able to live a happy life while doing so [being the type that always puts others before yourself]” is the exact thing that I am speaking on. Those two things go hand in hand (living a happy life and putting others before yourself). People live an unhappy life because they put themselves first. You will always search for ways to pacify your own self-criticism, satisfy your need for always wanting more and wanting better, and fulfill your own void of needing to be in love. THAT is why we are unhappy, because we live for ourselves. Living for others you become instantly happy because making others happy, and making others’ lives easier even though yours is god-awful, gives you an adequacy in life, it gives you fulfillment. So as a word to others, be a hero and live for others. Living for yourself is the quickest way to disappointment. Selfishness is not cute. Compassion is beautiful.
Anonymous asked: do you and austin use condoms?
This is kind of a personal question which I know I have no place to state that because of aforementioned erotic stories I share, but I share those for art purposes and writing purposes and story telling purposes. This question is just personal. I will tell you however that our first “song” was MindSex by Dead Prez which he did write his own verses to, being the first song he ever wrote me, which you can find on reverah.bandcamp.com entitled MindFuck. Anyway, the relevance to that is that one of our first text conversations was a very sexually frustrated witty conversation in which we were going back and forth about sexual puns wearing clever incognitos. I told him to listen to MindSex because our conversation was sex enough with how potent it was, he said he liked it and would like to Fuck my Mind all night, I said he could MindFuck me all night until he exploded wit, he said he liked Mind raw.
My jaw dropped. He is so witty. I love him so much.
So to answer your question, Austin and I write music together and MindFuck and SoulCountrol everyone (wait for these mix tapes to drop) and when we write, we have irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea we are writing about. Our love is centered around music and making it. Music is Love. Our love is centered around love and making it.
Anonymous asked: Have you experienced or witnessed a situation where someone 21+ dated someone who wasn't 21 yet, and there were relationship problems because they couldn't always go out together? or a situation where there was complete trust between a couple, despite the age.
I was in that relationship hahaha. I was with Bryson for about 2-3 years and he was 21 when I was 18, but we had known each other for many years before that. Anyway, to put things into perspective- I’m STILL not 21 and it didn’t exactly pose problems, but the social barrier was starting to appear.
Anyway, a similar situation came afloat in my ask box a few weeks back on the same thing you are inquiring about:
Anonymous asked: What are you opinions on my situation? I’m 16 and he’s 21. We’ve slept together once after getting tipsy. I’m catching feelings. He might be too. Is there any hope? Am I faking myself?
First off, though I may be a third degree hypocrite, know I am speaking from experience and not condemnation.
If you are under the legal age of fornication, you should stop. If you are under the legal age of drinking, you should stop.
Of course you are catching feelings. When women have sex, there is a hormone that releases in your body that makes you feel attached, maternal, orgasmic, but loads you with anxiety from pair bonding. It’s called oxytocin, I swear, look it up. I need to hear more about the story to really offer you insight on my personal opinions if there is any hope, but darling, faking yourself is the least of your worries right now. What you should be worried about are the more practical things like is the sex really worth it to potentially get this man in jail? Is the man you might be catching feelings for really worth it seeing as though he’s 21 and sleeping with a 16 year old? A TIPSY one, at that. Is the man you want to marry (and I know that I throw that word out there loosely, but a boyfriend you choose should always be a potential husband, otherwise you are wasting your time and investments in love) a man you met at a party? Who lets minors drink? Who is a desperate fiend for sex with a minor? I use the word desperate impersonally and solely just to emphasize how illegal this is. You are only 16! Go get your drivers license! Study for finals! Blog about your problems! Let your parents pay your bills for you! Do 16 year old things! TRUUUUUST ME WHEN I SAY, especially from experience of the things I wish I could erase and do over, FUCK love (right now). Fuck heartbreak. Fuck what you think it is. Fuck the alcohol and drugs that impairs your vision of it.
I’m not saying this because of your adolescent age, I’m saying this because EVERYONE’S ideal love and expectations of it are going to change even one year from now. Your “ideal” now may be polar opposite to your “ideal” a year from now. The only love you should be worrying about is the way you fall in love with YOU. Especially at 16. Your hormones are dancing around on a roller coaster. You might lose yourself in a society like ours. Heed this, while your hormones are doing you no justice right now at your age, work on you. You’re stuck with you anyway, every day, for the rest of your life. Go love yourself. And on top of that, go LIKE yourself as well. Now, by no means am I degrading you or saying that you’re too young to fall in love, but fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
And stop drinking, think about the people out there with failing livers and kidneys, painfully bloating up with water from failed transplants of sympathetic and sacrificial donors while you decide to physically and willingly abuse yours.
Anonymous asked: What would you tell your boyfriends ex if you wanted to tell her off? Be brutal :)
If you want me to activate my profanity and emphatic speech, “brutal”, you got it. Funny you should grant me this wish, but you asked for it.
I am the wrong person to come to this for because Austin’s ex isn’t immature and dogmatic unlike maybe every other bitchass exgirlfriend in the world such as yourself, but while I’m here let me liquidate the issue by spreading my opinion of your premature and litigious motives.
The only person I will be brutal to is you. For someone as immature as you, you happen to be subscribed to a very rodomontade lifestyle. How dare you assume that I would liquefy into blessing you with advice and be utterly gung ho about it.
If you consistently seize the day with ethics like that every morning, not only will you forever be worrying about what to tell your boyfriends ex, you will be every boyfriend’s ex.
I am a woman who holds her speech in high esteem and let me fill you in: there is nothing unequaled or unique about the most witty comebacks you can throw at ANY human being. Telling people off just creates more stigma in the pure system of speech and love and the line of Shakespeare, and darling your argot is far from delectable.
I’ll give you tips- The worst thing you can say to someone is, believe it or not, nothing. By you raising your voice, you surcease their curiosity by letting them in your mind. You are now allowing them to know what you’re thinking, that they’re bothering you, and granting yourself the vulnerability of being mindfucked.
That’s not how I roll. I let the haters hate and let the ex’s say what they may. At the end of the day, holding my tongue is one of my many aptitudes because 1. I have composure, 2. I am a utilitarian lady, & 3. I make whomever may be immature enough to act so impudently, more uncomfortable with a smile and a nod and a flip of the hair instead of luxuriating in their invite into a yelling contest.
Mahatma Gandhi says, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
Change the rules, change the way of the world, break tradition for fuck’s sake. Stop being the fucking catalyst, stop being the fucking reactor. You know how badly it fucks with people when they’ve talked all the shit they could and you just nod, accept their insecurity and went on with your day? Man, if people learned how to “turn the other cheek” after getting the first one slapped, it would make for a more humble and peaceful world. I’m not saying this to get Jesus on you, or even Gandhi on you. I’m saying this because I lay victim to one sided drama, frequently, but I am strong as a brick wall in which even improvised drama hits me and immediately falls to the ground because I am not moved by it, I am not tepid about it, and I choose to not let it penetrate my life.
So no, I will not satiate your cynical wishes to “tell her off” and I hope you had a hard time not only grasping, but READING what I just wrote so you will hopefully check back in to reality and realize that instead of wasting your time lethargically thinking of a witty, “brutal” speech to tell your boyfriend’s ex off, you should go read the dictionary. and the Bible while you’re at it.
Anonymous asked: you sound like those girls in middle school who throw the word "love" around like it's nothing lol "omgaaahh happy 3 month anniversary baby!! i love you 4eva~!" please.
To judge me on this, you must have been watching me. Keep a close look and keep watching.
Austin and I don’t even celebrate those things, so your sources are lying to you. Which I believe you are your own source and I can totally believe that you lie to yourself. Apparently. I mean you come on here thinking you’ll feel better by telling me who I am, when all you’re doing is really telling more about yourself. And at the end of the day, after you’ve talked all of the shit you can talk, not only are you still shit, you are a shit talking, well, shit.
Don’t tell me I don’t know what love is. People like you try to put a time on love, an age on love. But let me tell you, it is not that it hasn’t been long enough to be in love, you are never too young to be in love, you are just too immature. I have been in love before for years upon years, and I know what that’s like. What Austin gives me is more than that, in the span of a week.
Have you ever experienced being able to be yourself, fully, with another human being like I can? Have you ever been able to engulf yourself in singing, rapping, playing piano, playing guitar, playing ukulele, audio engineering, producing, or spoken word with another human being like I can? Have you ever dropped everyone for someone not because you have to but because everyone else’s company does not match to that human being like I have? Have you ever found out who you were more and more with just one conversation with another human being like I have? Have you ever had someone protect your welfare and understand your clinical anxiety and phobias without passing judgment on you like I have? Have you ever had another human being’s mother tell you they love you like I have? Have you ever split your paychecks in half because you want to financially support another human being like I have? Have you ever done things without realizing that every single action you do is for the benefit of that other person, and utterly enjoy it like I have? In a society like ours, have you ever been totally selfless for the first time in your life because someone so striking has come into your life?
Of course you haven’t, you’re too busy on here wasting your sarcastic, ugly opinions that are falling on deaf ears.
Go do something with your life. Sincerely.
Anonymous asked: How do you seize the day?
Okay, picture yourself getting ready for a date in two hours. You allot your time to be able to fit every thing you have to do (i.e. get ready, pick up flowers, shave your legs, drop your brother off, etc.). You are constantly on the move with things to do, one after the other, keeping busy before you run out of time. That is a microcosm of seizing the day. If you picture that example on a bigger scale, you would do more. Realize that if you die by 75, you will have been awake for only about 18,000 days. I don’t know about you, but that is NOT a long time. Life is like a vapor, soon to disappear. Realize that your time on this earth is very limited and there are things to do! People walk around every day hardly living. We sit around, get high, sleep more, play video games, watch T.V., take the time to cry, and enjoy unemployment. Seizing the day means that you take every moment to do something productive and worthwhile, each action one after the other. Imagine if everyone seized the day; we would probably have the cure for cancer.
I seize the day by sticking to my guns about not being bad at something. I am constantly learning new things, researching, and finding new talents I have. I might not be on a massive move in my life, but my life IS moving. I have a full time job, my own apartment, a great relationship, and my music career is making moves as well. I seize the day by working on ANYTHING until I am dead tired.
You might not be the one to find the cure for cancer, but with every human being that decides to seize the day, every day, someone will be inspired, until everyone is inspired.